Growing Up
by Pseudoherr
Summary: They say it gets better growing up. I agree. They say being an adult is easier than being a kid. I agree. They say having a companion makes it all the more worthwhile. I disagree. A story of ordinary people with ordinary lives and ordinary problems.


**Hullo! This is my first fanfic in a long time. I've written a few before, but have never really finished them. I hope the same can't be said with this one.**

 **The narrative will be a bit different from usual stories, as the plot will mostly be relatable and easy going. Hope you like it. Do drop in a review!**

 **The names of the chapters will be from songs which inspired me to write the fanfic.**

 **Disclaimer:** _Disclaimed._

* * *

 **1; All the Kids are Depressed, Jeremy Zucker**

 _ **'Cuz all the kids are depressed**_

 _ **Nothing really makes sense**_

* * *

To find meaning in life is a wonderful thing.

I know I couldn't say the same for myself.

Sitting near the canteen area, with the crowd bustling around me, I knew being a main protagonist wasn't easy.

But somehow, I just wanted to be an easy story.

I cocked my head towards the side and observed my peers around me, without making it seem too obvious.

Somewhere within me, I wished for something more exciting and pleasurable than mundanity.

Someone's life was always more happening, more fulfilling, more adventurous than me.

And here I was, trying to find solace within me for the little Styrofoam cup of tea that I held in my hand.

Am I that pathetic? I wondered, craning my neck upto the sky to imagine myself soaring high and laughing gleefully.

"Something interesting up there?"

I snapped my head back and winced as a muscle near my neck pulled. I massaged the tender area and blinked.

"Hey, senior." I grinned. "Whats up?"

Ruka smiled and took a seat across me. "What are you doing here alone?"

I shrugged. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"Hey!" I lightly slapped his arm. "You can't ask something like that! Its private."

He rolled his eyes. " _You're_ the one studying psychology as a major."

"That's different," I deadpanned. "That's for saving people."

"Aren't I allowed to save people?" He arched an eyebrow mockingly.

I stuck out my tongue. "Stop being a smartass. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

He sighed and pulled his backpack beside him. "I wish you wouldn't ask. Mid-terms."

"Oooh," I said, feeling sympathetic. I patted his hand. "You'll do fine, don't you worry. Its only international relations. What's so hard about a bunch of nations flipping each other off whenever they get the chance?"

He chuckled. "Well, when you put it _that_ way…"

I smiled. Talking to Ruka senpai always made me feel better. He was such a sweet guy.

I hoped sincerely that he would succeed wherever he went.

"Where's the rest of your gang?" I asked, sipping lightly from the cup. Ruka's brows furrowed.

"I'm not sure. Something about an inter-college debate."

My eyebrows shot up. "Wow, they're ambitious."

"Hardly." He snorted. "They're probably just going there to argue about the existence of debates and how they've ruined people."

"Oh, so they're like," I leaned forward, "the _hippie_ ones, right?"

Ruka looked at me and started laughing. "You're too cute, Mikan." He shook his head amusedly. "Always stay this way."

I blinked, confused as to what led to that reaction but shrugged it off. Senpai was weird like that.

I finished the tea and stood up to throw the cup into the dustbin. Senpai followed me, holding out my bag with a smile. "Let's go."

I nodded, taking the bag as we walked in sync towards the small alley that led to our respective departments.

We walked in silence, with I looking down at my feet and Ruka checking the messages in his phone. Classmates waved from afar and acquaintances smiled with a tilted head nod. I found myself breathing in the damp, heavy air that engulfed the city, grateful for once that I was in a different place than my home.

Home, was for lack for a better word, home- _less_. It wasn't someplace I enjoyed being that, merely because of the gaping distance that existed between me and my parents. No, nothing particularly interesting, if that's what you're thinking.

I just didn't enjoy being there.

A slight tap on my forehead brought me back to reality.

Ruka smiled teasingly. "You're thinking again."

I didn't bother hiding it this time. I sighed.

"Yeah. Lots of stuff to think about. What would you prefer, chocolate or orange chocolate?"

"Is _that_ what you're thinking about?"

I laughed. "No, it just came in my mind so I thought I'd ask."

He mulled over it. "I think I'd prefer plain chocolate. No complications."

"Is it the same for people?" I asked, suddenly curious.

He smiled mysteriously. "Who knows, maybe."

I grimaced, amid his chuckles. "You're making fun of me. "

"I swear I'm not!" He ruffled my hair and I protested. "I just like pulling your leg."

"Dear God, Nogi, suck it in or spit it in a place that actually stinks," a familiar voice said from behind. We both turned to see Sumire rolling her eyes. "God, you guys are like sickly sweet marshmellows."

I opened my mouth to retort, but closed it, judging against the idea.

Once Sumire thinks it's a couple, it's a couple.

I sighed. I had heard this so many times, it had stopped being funny.

And even so, Ruka seemed unfazed.

He probably thought all of this was pretty childish and disinteresting.

He laughed at her jibe. "What brings you here?"

It was her turn to grimace. "I got three goddamn assignments pending and I need someone to entertain me while I do it."

Wow. Not even caring to hide it.

"When is it due?"

"Its Jin-jin's and Nodacchi's. _When_ do you think its not due?" She grumbled and huffed, adjusting the strap of her bag and brushing away the curls from her face. "How's IR?"

He smiled. "Better than maths, any day."

"I don't even _know_ what came over me to take this! Its not like my mom pressured me into it!"

"Well, you've only got a year left."

"That advice slays," she deadpanned, causing both of us to grin.

"Anywho." She batted her eyes towards me and pouted. "I'm gonna need his help for these assignments or I will surely _die._ Can I take him?"

"I'm not a commodity, Sumire."

She scoffed. "Tell that to your secret fanbase." She smiled cheekily at me and grabbed his hand.

I shrugged. "I had to go anyway."

Ruka gave me an uncertain look but I smiled. "I'm fine. You can go."

Sumire turned back on her heels and dragged him by the hand. Ruka craned his neck and mouthed, "Text me."

I nodded and waved, turning towards the department with my bag in tow.

 _Let's go face life now._

* * *

"Join the club."

I rolled my eyes and buried my face deeper in the book I was reading. "Hello to you too, Yuu."

"Is that a yes?"

I groaned. "Can we please not do this today? I'm tired."

"You're always tired."

"That's because of _you_ ," I pointed out.

Silence.

Great, now I can concentrate on-

"Is there something wrong with the club?"

I lightly slammed the book on the table. "Yuu!" I glowered. "I told you, I'm not in the mood."

The staff librarian eyed me with distaste. My shoulders melted under his disapproving glare.

"Go away," I hissed and instantly regretted sounding so harsh.

Well, whatever. That's what he gets for being so persistent.

A whoosh of air and thud beside me confirmed that Yuu had clearly not understood the undertone.

I sighed.

I know I was conceited in thinking this, but why was I so popular?

 _Hah. As if._

I concentrated on the line I was currently on.

"….upper elitism class with the Bavarian illuminati came across each other and started eating each other up," I mumbled quietly to myself.

"What the _hell_ are you reading?"

"Conspiracy theories," I said vaguely, flipping through to another page.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Hm."

"Would you join the club if I said there were hot boys?"

No. _No._

I turned my face towards him in horror. "You did not just _compare_ me with such _flimsy_ ideals-"

"You don't leave with me much of a choice," he said exasperatedly. "It's a _really_ nice club."

I opened my mouth in retort but caught the earnest look in his eyes.

Oh dear.

My emotions for accepting his indirect fondness is kicking in.

Oh _dear_.

I placed two fingers on both of my eyelids and sighed heavily.

Oh God, please don't let me regret this.

"What is it about?" I said hesitantly, half expecting the band members to pop out and singsong in glee.

He inched closer and his head craned forward in happiness. "It's a _breakup_ club."

I blinked.

He grinned. "I know."

Yep, I am definitely going to regret this.

" _What?_ " I hissed. "A _breakup_ club? Are you serious?"

He nodded eagerly. "I know right!"

My eyes widened in incredulity. " _Excuse_ me? What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that this is the most exciting thing that has ever going to happen to us!"

Oh.

 _Oh._

So this was about me earlier whining about the monotony of my life.

Oh my God, what have I done?

I doubled back. "I don't think this is funny-"

But Yuu wasn't listening. "This is going to be so much fun! Yay!" He pumped his fist in the air.

I looked at him dumbfounded. How could a college guy doing a degree in nanotechnology be so psyched about a club?

And a breakup club? Who the hell created that?!

What kind of world was I living in?!

"Yuu, I think we need to revisit the idea of me joining the club-"

He stood up abruptly. "4 pm. Co-curricular block. Don't forget."

And he was gone. Like the freaking wind.

I buried my face in my hands.

This was definitely, most _definitely_ not going to be fun at all.

Why, you ask?

Because I didn't have a goddamn clue about breakups.

Well sure, you find a person who happens to be single and _happens_ to be an expert in Love.

You find people who happen to stumble into relationships with other people.

You happen to fall in love or settle for a crush yourself.

But with Mikan Sakura, aka the person whose life you're sniveling into right now? Zilch. Nada.

I don't know, I just-I didn't find anyone worth it.

And this whole love business seemed so dumb and such a waste of time.

But yeah, I've had friends who've gone through their share of breakups and I would say their cries and their impulsive wishes to down their sorrows in late night sobs and chocolate played a huge role in me keeping a very safe distance from boys.

Boys, men- they were _all_ pigs.

I didn't hate their existence, I just despised how they thought and revolved their lives around people bruising or inflating their ego.

I mean, really?

There is a _lot_ more to life than that.

And I had realized quite early that the average boy my age took more than 3 years to understand and reach my level of emotional maturity.

So I left it at that.

No drama. No tensions. Nothing.

But somewhere that was going to change.

And I was afraid.

So afraid I would lose control over my emotions.

And end up downing myself in late night sobs and chocolate, that I made a decision.

I skipped the club meeting.

And ran away to my campus residence.

I suppressed my short breaths and tried to take deep breaths through my nose as I entered the residence and nodded curtly towards the guard in duty.

Mikan, you coward.

 _I'm not a coward._

Then explain your actions.

 _I'm not wasting my time in a stupid club._

Its only two minutes past four. You can still make it.

 _Stop it. I don't want to._

Yuu will feel hurt.

 _Yuu is not a kid. I'm not accountable to him for my actions._

That's exactly what the Illuminati would say.

 _That…doesn't even make sense._

My phone rang.

Its Yuu, its Yuu, its Yuu, its Yuu, its Yuu-

Oh god how do I handle this situation what do I do IAMFREAKINGOUT

Calm down Mikan! You can handle this like an adult! Pick it up and tell him you can't come!

I took a deep breath and swiped on the green icon without glancing at the caller ID.

"Hello?" My voice sounded breathless.

"Hey, where are you?"

"I-" I blinked and stopped. I looked at the caller Id.

"Tsubasa?" I said hurriedly.

"Yeah."

"Um." Okay, so it wasn't Yuu.

Calm down.

But wait, wasn't he going to call me?

"Hello, Mikan?" His voice floated through the speakers.

I snapped out of my reverie. "Yeah, yeah, I'm in my residence."

"Oh." There were muffled overtones. "Are you free?"

I bit my lip. "Well.."

"I kinda need your help." He sounded sheepish.

I grew concerned. "Everything okay?"

"Can you come to the hospital? I'll text you the address."

My eyes widened. "Hospital? Tsubasa, what _happened_?"

"I'll tell you once you come here. Can you?"

He sounded so desperate.

I debated. Call Yuu or meet Tsubasa?

I decided on the latter.

Priorities, Mikan.

Breakups can wait.

Wow, that sounded so weird in my head.

"Okay. Tell me where to come."

Forty minutes later, I rushed past the main doors to the emergency unit and skimmed my eyes through all the beds, stopping at a blue eyed face with a star tattooed under his left eye.

I rushed over to his bed and lightly tapped his toe.

He looked up from his phone and smiled. "Hey."

I took in his appearance, searching for any reasons as to why he would be lying in the emergency ward when my gaze travelled towards his left leg.

It was bandaged from toe to knee.

I eyed it warily. "Please don't tell me you were driving."

His sheepish smile said it all.

"What happened?" I demanded. "Tsubasa, how could you be so reckless?"

"Hey, hey, can you not gang up on me when I'm already in this state?" He put his hands up defensively.

"Details, Andou," I growled. "Before I call up Misaki and tell her you were doing stunts."

"I don't think the patient would appreciate that," a voice said. I glanced towards Tsubasa's left where a doctor emerged, a trail of interns behind him. I blushed, aware that almost twelve pairs of ears had probably heard the threat.

He smiled. "Although I can say it wasn't his fault." He winked at Tsubasa, who grinned back.

I scoffed inwardly. This doctor seemed to upheld the bro code even in his forties.

The doctor, who introduced himself as Subaru Imai, was adept and skilled in his work, I realized. He handled all twelve interns successfully while quietly listing the possible side effects of the treatment and the preventive measures to be taken accordingly.

I patiently heard Tsubasa's case, determined to rat him out after they left and smiled sweetly once the group moved on.

"You," I hissed, pinching his arm. "You better have a good explanation."

"Ow!" he whined. "Alright, alright, geez, lay it out will ya? Give me a moment."

He took a deep breath when I sat down near the bedpost with an expected eyebrow raise.

"I was on my way to practice," he said quietly. "I've started training in taekwondo."

I opened my mouth to reply but was silenced by his look.

"I've been having nightmares for awhile now," he said, fidgeting with the back cover of his phone. "Nightmares about being abducted and killed. And I'm allowed to think that way, you know. It happened with my aunt. Who knows if it'll happen to me."

There was silence as I slowly injested the information.

Oh _God_.

Oh God, Tsubasa.

"I was driving towards the training centre when my mind just started filming _that scene_ over and over again, where the police find her and she's _dead_ and the killer never got caught and I just-" he inhaled sharply. "I just lost it."

"You collided?" I asked as gently as possible and placed a hand on his thigh.

He shook his head. "No, I started driving faster and then I lost control of the bike and it started swerving dangerously and then it skidded."

I winced as the mental images started forming in my head.

"You know what Subaru said, right? It's just a little deep, the rash that's all. It'll be fine."

"Do you want me to call someone for you?" I asked. It dawned on me that he might need more support than one measely me.

He smiled faintly. "Nah, Mikan. I like it when you're here. I feel better already."

I grimaced. "I'm sorry I threatened you. I feel like shit now."

He chuckled. "Actually, that made me feel a whole lot better than being treated like a patient." He shook his head. "No matter what, I'll never like hospitals."

"Did you eat anything?"

He grinned. "A pretty nurse fed me some jelly. Does that count?"

I rolled my eyes. "Did you freak her out with your womanizing skills?"

" _You're_ the only one who gets freaked out, Mikan," he deadpanned.

"Cuz it's creepy!" I exclaimed. "It's weird and ugh." I shuddered.

The last time Tsubasa had attempted to make a move on me, I hadn't talked to him for over a week.

Yeah, things like these were a _huge_ deal for me.

Hence, the escapade from the club.

Oh shit, that reminds me. I fished out my phone from my purse and glanced at the two missed calls.

One from Yuu and one from Ruka senpai.

I held up a finger to Tsubasa while I dialed Yuu's number. It went straight to voicemail.

As I kept the phone back in my purse, Tsubasa looked at me seriously.

"You sure you weren't busy?"

I scratched my head. "You're probably gonna get a field trip out of this but I _have_ to say this because it sounds so absurd in my head. Yuu-my friend, you don't know him- made me go to a _breakup_ club. Can you believe it?"

Out of everything, I would've never guessed Tsubasa's reaction.

"Oh yeah, I _love_ that club!" He grinned. "Good days spent over there."

I blinked. What the actual fu-

"You're in the club too?" I screeched and immediately stooped my head low as annoyed eyes sought me out.

He seemed puzzled. "Well, yeah. Past tense was, actually. It was fun while I was in it, but then a lot of things happened so I had to leave it."

Okay, _now_ I was interested.

"Why do I feel like I've never heard of this club before?" I said bewilderedly. "I swear to God, this is more weird than when you were courting me."

Tsubasa made a grimace at the reference. "Believe me, I didn't have fun either. But I'm kinda surprised this is the first time you're hearing of it. The club's pretty famous."

"Yeah, cuz everyone's a romantic brat that wants attention," I said and scoffed.

Tsubasa arched an eyebrow. "Wouldn't have expected such judgmental words from a psychology major. No, it's actually a pretty decent club. You should check it out."

"What if I'm not in the mood?" I fired back. "It sounds like complete and utter bullcrap to me."

He shrugged. "Well, alright. But you'd be missing one hell of a year."

I stuck out my tongue. "Mundanity is my second name. Anyway, let's get you a proper lunch. I'm starving."

The corner of his eyes crinkled. "This is why I called you over."

I got my homeboy some lunch and we chatted about different topics and college. Tsubasa made weird funny faces with French fries and ketchup and I couldn't stop snorting.

He always does that.

I looked at him fondly as he downed the rest of his soda and wished a happy life for him.

"So, this taekwondo," I said nonchalantly, keeping my eyes on the food, "can you teach me?"

He observed my expression. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Just thought it'd come in handy."

There was a pause as he shook the contents of the cup for its last drops.

"Maybe."

"Really?" I beamed. "No shit?"

His eyes glanced at mine and he smiled genuinely. "No shit," he confirmed.

Sweet.

We chatted for another half an hour until I stretched my arms and looked at the time.

Good God, Mikan, time for your assignments.

"I better go," I said, albeit whimpered, dragging my bag and casting a forlorn look at him.

He laughed. "I'll still be here, with my sorry ass down in the dumps for awhile."

"I'll get you some movies," I said, beaming. "You won't get bored."

"Thanks, bro," he said. "I'd like that."

"You got it, homie."

He waved as I turned around. "Byee!"

I smiled inwardly and did a backhand wave.

"Bye."

 _Stay safe_.

* * *

 **How was it? Do tell! It'll take awhile for Natsume and Hotaru to appear. I want the momentum and psyche of Mikan to build a little before she gets exposed to the two mwahahah.**

 **RxR! :)**


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